As we approach Women's Day, it's a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the relationships that shape us, especially the profound connection with our mothers. This bond is unique; it is often built on a mixture of love, expectations, and shared experiences. Regardless of our relationship with them, the maternal bond plays a significant role in our personal development and emotional well-being, even if we do not speak with our mother, she has passed away, or we have never met her.
In therapy, there is a practice known as "cord cutting," where we consider that we have multiple kinds of cords with people that we form during our life through interactions with others. Through these cords, we form a bond and exchange energy-sometimes of love and respect, but at other times, feelings of guilt, shame, or resentment. If these cords that we formed carry negative emotions, they normally drain us emotionally. However, there is one cord that remains unbreakable: the one with our mother.
Why is this bond so unbreakable? When a mother gives us life, she often puts her own life at risk, offering us the greatest gift-our existence. This connection is profound and is not influenced by the quality of the relationship we share, even when the relationship has been challenged by absence or abuse.
In reflecting on our relationships, we often create expectations for our mothers that may not align with reality. As children, we tend to see them as heroes, forgetting that they are also human beings with their own pains and traumas. Often, a mother’s inability to give love arises from having not experienced it herself. A mother cannot offer what she hasn’t received.
Turning away from our mothers can lead to substantial consequences in our lives. It can hinder our growth as women, affect our ability to nurture future generations, and create barriers in our relationships with partners. Whenever we cannot reconcile our relationship with our mother, this can have serious consequences on our emotional, psychological, and therefore physical well-being.
As we celebrate Women's Day, let’s take the time to reflect on the bond we share with our mothers. Does this relationship need healing? Are we holding on to something against our mother that prevents us from embracing life fully and developing meaningful relationships with ourselves and others?
At Emotional Bridges, we’re here to support you on this journey. This Women's Day, let's celebrate the power of women and that special bond with our mothers that shapes our lives.
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